I don’t have any big legal scoop on this but I can tell you what we did. We made out valid, legally solid wills with an attorney. (Yeah, I know none of us want to pay a lawyer another $@&% dime but they can be useful.)
My husband and I are each other’s sole heirs. In the event that his ex-girlfriend does obtain a portion I am specified as the executor and administrator of all settlements to minor children. I love my stepson and my husband trusts me more than his mother to make sure that his needs are met- ie college.
Remember also that minor children qualify for SS benefits from their deceased parent’s credits. I think the amount is around $1,100 a month per child if you were at max credit.
Talk to a qualified person about a will. When we went in we found that I did not automatically inherit from my husband in our state. 50% went to wife and 50% to the children without a will which meant that if he would have died without the will his ex- as guardian of his minor child- would have controlled 16%+ of my home! Meaning that I wouldn’t have been able to even sell and move without her written permission.
All of our lives have been complicated enough without making them worse by not planning for the future and providing for the security of everyone involved- check into this in your states- esp if you have a current family to provide for.
A big PS for all you remarried men out there- our neighbor lost her husband to cancer at the age of 36 a few years ago. They had 2 young children. He had been married once- no kids- and HAD NOT REMOVED HIS FORMER WIFE AS THE BENEFICIARY OF HIS POLICY!!! The former, childless wife, walked away with the policy- 125K. Double check all those benificiaries!