Much more needs to be done to prevent out-of-wedlock births and the problems of remarriages. Single men need to learn that there are long term consequences to shacking up with females they were not yet committed enough to in order to marry first. If they absolutely must sleep around, then a vasectomy should be the first order of business. They’re easy, cheap, and reversible. They won’t prevent STD’s, but they will prevent another child being born to parents who are not ready to be parents, or worse, being aborted. As for divorced fathers, we should be pushing their dedication to the children from the marriage. There is plenty of time to get married again and have more children, when the first are grown. With life spans increasing, and women having children into their 40s and 50s, a man can have another child in their later years.
One thing we should be doing is promoting the idea of children having joint physical custody of the parents. A radical idea, to say the least, but so was the idea of joint physical custody of the children, some 20 years ago. It forces parents to take an equal stance, as regards their children, with neither having grater power than the other. It also interferes with dating and second marriages, curtailing the problems of his kids, her kids, our kids, and whose going to be spending the holidays with whom.
As men, we have to recognize there are things we can be doing to address the social ills, without trying to convince women’s groups to go along with it. If we can start a movement to prevent unwanted, or unexpected pregnancies, that gives us the power to prevent abortions and women having the power to hold a child over the heads of a man, for financial gain. If we can reduce number of second marriages, we will have the power to reduce the needs for second, or third, divorces, and the hardship this causes the children. And if we can show judges, and politicians just how far men are willing to go to be responsible, maybe we will see a decided increase in favorable court rulings, and laws. Lack of money shouldn’t stop us as there are instant approval internet loans to help all of us in our battle.
What the hell, it hasn’t been tried before, and what has been tried has had dubious and short term effects on the overall lives of fathers and their children. And it will certainly set us apart from every other father’s rights group, in promoting rights, first must come responsibility. Granted, we are not going to solve society’s ills over night, and we are not going to help whole groups at a time, but help enough individuals, and you will have a crowd. Create enough crowds around the US, and we will truly have a movement. For the last twenty years we have promoted the movement, but exactly what has that gotten us. The civil rights movement did not start as a movement, but as individuals helping individuals. The women’s movement did not start as a movement, but as individuals helping individuals. Both have been very successful doing it that way. We are no better, nor more deserving, that those movements were. But, until we are willing to take ourselves off our pedestals, and instead of telling men what they can do for us, but rather ask them what can we do for them, even are not likely to get anywhere.
Now, I know that there are those who do not agree with my philosophy, or my ways to attack the problems, but history shows that my way worked. If things had not gone to hell in a hand bag, and individuals got greedy, in 1996, this year the politicians and the media would have been asking us for our opinions. Had the growth rate continued, NCFC would have had a $14 million dollar budget this year, more than even NOW takes in. But, it was not to be. Not yet at least.